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ArtbyCarissa

Wishes


If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I'd wear one by my side.

If "if's" and "and's" were pots and pans,

There'd be no work for tinkers' hands. ~ English Proverb

I wish I did not have allergies. I wish I had not developed asthma. I wish I was not burnt out. I wish I did not have to worry about so many things.

That takes care of the transportation of 15 or 20 "beggers" if we go by this proverb.

I do have allergies, and they suck. There are days I want to scratch my eyes out, cut my nose off, gargle sand paper and just hide in a sterile room. I take medication EVERY DAY I have since I was 12. Not seasonally, like a lot of people. The side effects of the medication suck. I am perpetually dehydrated. They are pricey, not as bad as heart meds or other life saving meds, but it is pretty bad. Worse right now, since I have to take two doses (prescribed) to alleviate the spring season.

Until recently I was not even aware that immunotherapy was a thing. My allergist is concerned to try it though. I am allergic to a lot of things.

I wish I did not have allergies. I wonder how my life would have been different. I am not sure I can imagine it.

I developed asthma. Yes, you can develop asthma in areas of high air pollution. I live in one for five years. I exercised in the air with no clue that I could develop asthma. That explains why a bout of bronchitis never really went away until I went to my allergist (they does asthma also, the are linked.) The allergies trigger the asthma (bad air) and I have to take more medications.

I think asthma is worse than allergies. Asthma attacks are not always the gasping for air type. Usually I get listless, lethargic and confused. It is hard to know you are having asthma issues if you are listless and confused. You end up not caring because you are tired.

I wish I did not have asthma. I wonder how my life would be different.

I wish I was not burnt out... at the paying job. It was bound to happen, but I wish it was not so. Everyone has a limit, I reached mine. It sucks because it triggers the worrying. Not much else to say about that.

I wonder what my life would be like if I had made some different choices.

I wish.... well, you get the point.

We cannot change what we have or what has happened. All we can do is take it and run with it.

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